On Being Compelled--or Compulsion?

I think that Heavenly Father compels me not to do a lot of things--oddly enough because I'm a little compulsive. Now, I'm not talking about excessive handwashing--like in Merriam-Websters online dictionary--but compulsions to help people. I cannot claim any additional insight or authority to tell people what to do or do it for them. I know this. I understand inalienable rights pretty well if I slow down to think about them. But my knee-jerk reactions could certainly get me into trouble if Heavenly Father weren't here to temper me.

I'll give an example:

Valerie says, "Yeah, I'm taking my vacuum over my to my parents house to vacuum for them, since theirs broke." My very first thought in this instance, back in 1998, was "I have a vacuum I can give them!" Now let me explain what I already knew at that moment. I knew that Valerie's parents were very well off and her predominant source of support (not necessarily financial--but emotional and parenting as well), while I was a single mother trying to put myself through my bachelors degree and I only had one vacuum and no money. In that instance, the impulse did not make it out of my mouth; my brain was just a little faster than my compulsion.

At one point, a friend told me that he was behind on her rent. I decided we would sell one of our cars but deep down, I was thinking I would catch her up on her bills. This is where Heavenly Father stepped in. I couldn't sell that car for nothing! And it was a nice little car! Soon, we needed two cars when I went to work in another town--so, efficient as he is he helped me by making us keep the car and helped my friend by bringing her to a better home and a better financial situation that stemmed from the character she gained going through her trials.

I've found myself lately doing the same thing. Reaching out to help others when I'm actually struggling quite a bit. Now this seems like a good thing, right? Right. Which is why it is so easy for my strength (I care about people) to become my weakness (I'm not focusing on my own struggles and working to overcome them, but rather am delaying them.)

So, Heavenly Father compels me to slow down, to be physically unable to help, until I am rational enough to realize that I did not have the capacity in the first place.

I am grateful to him for that. I love my Heavenly Father for knowing me so well and helping me so much. I also love that he does let me help as much as I am able--right up to the highest point I can reach.